Crazy Stalker Chica

Not only are crazy people attracted to me, but I also claim some of the craziest mishaps.

A few months ago, I stopped in at one of my favorite stores. Shortly after walking in, I couldn't help but to notice, from the corner of my eye a woman staring at me. My initial thought was this woman has good taste; she was wearing a gorgeous pair of sling back heels and had the cutest matching handbag.

Coincidentally, we kept running into each other. Like every other aisle. When we reached the back end of the store, I felt this awkward stalkerish vibe, as though she may have been following me. So I subtly, yet sarcastically turned and asked in a playful voice "are you following me"? Her answer just about rocked my world, when she answered, Yes!

I stopped and asked if we knew each other. Her reply was, NO. She followed up by saying "you have great hair, can I touch it"? I shook my head and looked at her like she had a third eye, while asking back "YOU want to touch my hair"?

Being a Latina woman and semi superstitious I didn't want her to give me evil eye (story for another day), so I agreed and let this wacko touch my hair. Within a split second I pulled away and she launched a million questions. She asked what shampoo I used, where I got my hair did and how long it had taken to grow my hair out?

I replied with a bit of sarcasm, that I do nothing special to my hair....except beat the hell out of it with a hair dryer, flat iron and cheap hairspray. I also sarcastically said, Good hair was my gift from God...I would have preferred a fast metabolism, but no such luck.

Totally creeped out at this point, I was saved by the bell when my cellphone rang. It was the universe saving me, or so I thought. I then headed to the check out aisle, making sure Crazy was not in line; however when I looked back guess who was behind me??? Yep, Crazy was back! I quickly reached for my cellphone and made a bogus call to my own house, I know ridiculous!!

Later that evening I shared my stalker story with my girlfriends and we had a good laugh.

What would you have done???

Sassy Swimming Pool Chica's

I have an ability to attract some crazy people...don't believe me check this out.

A few weeks back I ran into some Sassy Chica's at the pool. Both of these Chica's were Sexy, Young(35'ish), Single and ready for change. On this particular day I had gone to the pool with some neighbors (which is always a good time).

While enjoying the day, I was also enjoying a good book(a steamy romance, bow-chicka-bow-wow), which kept me entertained. All the while these two Chica's sitting next to me, kept looking over smiling and would talk loud enough, as though they wanted to include me in their conversation, here is a tidbit:

Chica #1: "I am so ready to move out of this F'ing state".
Chica #2: "Really why is that"?
Chica #1: I have F'd up enough in this state; seen it all, done them all and ready for change! And all the good guys are married.
Chica #2: I hear ya sista, where do you want to move to?
Chica #1: Indiana, I have a hot man waiting for me there...after I break up with this loser I'm dating!
Chica #2: Do you need a roommate?? I will move to Indiana with ya?

An hour later these Chica's broke the ice and offered me some of their boot legged cocktails, they snuk into the pool. Stored in adult size sippy cups and some low-cal chips. I did what any good natured Chica would do and accepted. Cocktails and chips, on a hot summer day, I'm in!!

I befriended them quickly, because for the next few hours they talked about anything and everything under the sun(literally). These Chica's could talk the horns off a BillyGoat! And let me just say they had no boundaries and no topic was off limits!

Just one more story to add to my crazy chica list...."like crazy stalker lady", except these girls were no stalkers and if they were they could follow me anytime!!

Another Crazy Mishap

This past weekend was our neighborhood's 3rd Annual PigRoast. Let me start by saying...WHAT A PARTY!!! Every year tops the last. We live in a fabulous community filled with lively people. There are about eight couples through out our subdivision, who get along well and spend much time together (The Hubster and I included). My family use to give my hubby and I shit for living in Pleasantville and never really understood why we were always home; until they met our neighbors.

Anyways...back to the PigRoast, this year is one for the books...we went through 130+pound pig, 4kegs, and even had a D.J! We calculated amongst the eight couples along with friends and family there were approx. 80 plus people in attendance.

The highlight of the evening was when a good looking gentleman (I will totally keep his name confidential to protect the drunk), openly said to me "I wouldn't mind seeing you naked"! WOW!!! Now what the hell do you do with that kind of information?!?

In all fairness this person was drunk and had exceeded his limit, he was not being touchy feely or grabby McGrabster, so I was not creep'd out, but I was caught off guard (especially since I was somewhat sober). This gentleman has a beautiful woman in his life (again to protect the drunk I will not say if he was married or coupled). So I took the compliment, replied that there would be no way in hell and slowly made my way to a different group of friends.

It just cracks me up how crazy mishaps always seem to find me! This mishap is awkward enough to add to Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesday post. tovadarling.blogspot.com/2009/07/tovas-totally-awkward-tuesday.html

UPDATE: The gentleman in this story does not live in the community.

Picture Faux Pas

I love pictures!! I love taking pictures, being in picture's, collecting pictures. One day I aspire to finish the two scrapbooks I once started(insert laugh here). The years fly by so fast, sometimes all we have left are pictures...that is if you take the time to properly store them.

Just a few years ago when my diva daughter took a class trip she begged me to borrow my camera. I was hesitant, but agreed. That afternoon she ran into the house sobbing as if life was over! At first I could not make out what she was saying, somewhere between the tears, hyperventilating and half words...it all came together... I LOST THE CAMERA!!! My eyes widened and I was in shock, I wanted to fall to the ground, instead I put my hand over my mouth to avoid saying something I may later have to explain to the authorities.

In all fairness I take part blame, it would not have been such a big deal if there weren't three years worth of pictures on the camera....yes, three years worth of pictures. I can kick myself for not properly storing all these great pictures...there were pictures of when our house was being built, my sons first days at school, family/friend gatherings, and the birth of my nephew...I still get a little upset just thinking about it.

Just when I thought I had learned my lesson and tried to avoid future picture faux pas, I did it again! I let a few months pass without downloading my camera and precious pictures were deleted. My curious son wanted to know what it looks like when you take pictures up your nose, so he took glamour shots of his nostrils. Being the sly child he is he deleted the evidence so no one would know that he was playing with mommy's camera. He not only deleted the pictures of his nostrils, but also the last few months. Crap once again pictures gone...this time from a fabulous wedding we attended on the Roof Top of Navy Pier in Chicago along with more parties and summer fun.

Lesson Learned: Avoid Picture Faux Pas by properly storing pictures!