When I Grow Up

There are never any dull moments, when it comes to my seven year old son. Just the other morning, while styling his faux hawk, he turns to me with much excitement in his eyes and says:

Son: Mom, you know what I am going to be when I grow up?
Me: No Son, what would you like to be?
Son: A Tattoo Artist.
Me: Oh really, what makes you think you are going to be a tattoo artist?
Son: You Mom, you said I can be what ever I want and that's what I want to be. I am going to have a shop and my cousin(partner in crime) is going to come and work with me.
Me: In order to be a tattoo artist, you should probably learn to draw...
Son: Haven't you seen my smiley faces, they are awesome!
Son: Oh yea and I am getting a piercing...in my ear
Me: You mean an earring?
Son: No Mom, when your a man it's called a piercing (rolling his eyes and shaking his head).

I shared this story with my sister, who's son is part of this Tattoo Shop adventure. She already knew about it and told her son that it was a great idea, but to remember Mommies get all their Tattoo's for FREE!

Lesson Learned: Careful what you tell your children, they will hold you to it!!

BACK TO SCHOOL

Today is the kiddies first day BACK TO SCHOOL! This morning started off a little after 5am( why it takes my Diva teenage daughter an hour and a half to get ready for school is ridiculous)!! Shortly after she departed, it was time to wake up my second grade son. He took an hour himself to get dressed and ready for school. He was so excited about meeting his new teacher and making new friends!

I am so proud of my children and the people they are becoming. They are respectful, smart, friendly and both looked fashionably fabulous for their first day at school!! I held them tight, hugged them and kissed them before they left, I then proceeded to take pictures (lots of them). This annoyed them. I know, because they told me so, but whatever; I 'm da mamma!!

I was oh so emotionally sappy this morning, it took all I had not to cry. Sending my babies out into the world after months of having them under my wing and close to me was gut wrenching. I am not sure what hurts more the fact that they are growing up or that we can not do anything about it.

Shortly after the kiddies left, my hubby also left for work and I was home alone. I am left to wonder what ever will I do, with the day all to myself??? Since last week was a bit chaotic, I have plenty to keep me busy. I have real exciting stuff planned; I even made a list...laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming and more laundry.

I can't complain and won't complain about my domestic duties. After becoming a DomesticEngineer a year ago, I have been granted the opportunity to enjoy so much of my children's life. It is a total change of pace from the glamorous sales job I had, but this is what life is all about..FAMILY and I thank God for my healthy FABULOUS family!!!

Almost Back to School

We are finally in the last leg of the race, in seven days, my kiddies go BACK TO SCHOOL!!! They are happy, I am happy, my wallet on the other hand is not so happy! I dread back to school shopping.

I was very proactive this year and spared myself the mental break down; however there is still some clothes shopping to do. I love to shop, I can spend hours browsing and strolling around the mall, but when I take my Diva teenage daughter and seven year old son clothes shopping it is always a grueling and exhausting experience!

My fashion forward seven year old son is quite the Fashionisto. He knows what trends are in and loves anything name brand. His style is a mix of Rocker meets Skater. I try to do his clothes shopping alone, because if the hubster comes along, then my son ends up with ridiculous items like a "Fedora". Yes, a Fedora!! He set his eyes on this beauty while shopping for spring clothes; my hubby caved and bought it. It is safe to say that my hubby lives vicariously through our son?

Diva on the other hand is a totally different story, even though she is not into name brands, her motto is as long as it fits and looks good, she will wear it. She inherited my body, curvy and busty; not the easiest to dress! She gets frustrated very quickly and it's all down hill from there. The saving grace this year is we started early and are almost done with her clothes shopping. But now she wants a new phone...does it ever end?

Before leaving for work this morning, my hubby did say for me to keep my eye out for anything I needed for my trip to VEGAS in October, so I guess it won't be so bad to take the kiddies shopping after all; Momma needs a new pair of shoes!

UNBELIEVABLE

I rarely write about my Diva teenage daughter on my blog. Not really sure why?? I think it may be that some of the things she does are not funny, but frustrating. Or maybe because she reads this blog and I don't want to offend.

Except for today, gloves are off. I am sharing with the world just how ridiculous she is, serves her right!

Yesterday, Diva asked me for permission to spend the day at her friends house. Like the cool mom I am, I gave her permission and was specific on what time I wanted her home. I also asked her to call me, when she got to her friends house. Hours passed by and no phone call. The time I had set for her to be home also came and went. A few hours later, Diva arrived home! She nonchalantly walks in, ready to blurt out what ever ridiculous excuse she had conjured up. I was not having it and sent her to her room, after I scolded her for being late and grounded her until she turned at least 30.

A little while after she had been home, I guess she thought I was a bit more calm and she could talk to me.

Diva: Mom, I have something to show you!
Me:(in a snide response,still pissed): I don't want to see it!
Diva then stood directly in front of me, turned around and showed me that she bleached the tips of her hair
Me: UN-F'ing-BELIEVABLE, what did you do?!?!?!?!
Diva: I think it looks Amazing!
Me: Yea, well I think you look like an idiot!

Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if it had been a professional job; however her friend who is always bleaching and coloring her own hair: purple, red, blue, etc did a horrible job! Let me also state that Diva's hair is black, with now reddish/blondish(not really sure what color it is) uneven tips. It looks like the tail of a Cat!

The only word worth repeating that came to mind and out of my mouth repeatedly was, UNBELIEVABLE!!! School starts in less than two weeks and Diva's hair looks ridiculous, serves her right.

These are the joys of being a mother to a teenager daughter, CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!!!!

Who is on the Quarter?

I have been working with my seven year old to prepare him the best I can for the second grade. I was impressed that over the summer he retained much of what he had learned in first grade, until we got to counting coins.

We made it through the denominations, size and which president was on the dime, nickel and penny; here is what happened when we got to the quarter....

Mom asks: Which coin is the Quarter
Son replies: The big one
Mom asks: What is the denomination?
Son replies: twenty five cents
Mom asks: Who is on the Quarter
Son, a bit puzzled, but replies: George Clooney

It took all I had not to laugh out loud!! I looked at my son and explained that he had done very well, but George Clooney is not on the quarter nor on any U.S currency.

Hats off George Clooney even my seven year old knows you!!! And just for the record, I think you are a FOX!!

Have a Terrific Tuesday!

Friday Fumble

This morning my son was sitting at the table eating his breakfast, when all the sudden the F bomb comes flying out of his mouth.

My teenage daughter who is always eager to tattle on him said "ohhh...your in trouble". I was close by when this happened, but not close enough to hear the actual F'bomb.

After my daughter came to me with my news, I thought I would attempt to be a good mom, called my son over and asked if he used the F word.

His reply was hilarious, he said yes, but I didn't mean it. What I meant to say was the word "funny"(as he batted his baby browns at me) and instead the F'word came out.

I asked him if he ever used that word before, he said no, so my next question was "well, then where did you hear that word", he said...you Mommy!!!

Whoopsie...well there goes the "Mother of the Year Award"....again!

Open 24 Hours

My Son asks his aunt, while driving in a car: how long is 24 hrs?
Aunt replies: well, 24 hrs is from midnight one day to midnight the next day.
My Son replies: then the people at McDonald's must be really tired!?!

Oh, to be seven again!

I Facebooked Your Mom

My Diva Daughters smartalec friend sent me this T-shirt and list after accusing me of being a Facebook junkie...the nerve!

You know you are addicted to Facebook if:

1.When you are talking to someone on the phone and writing on their wall at the same time.
2.You take pictures solely to post it on Facebook.
3.You stop talking to people who haven’t joined Facebook yet.
4.You break up with someone by changing your relationship status
5.when your kids are screaming 'MOM,I'M HUNGRYYY!' and you are too busy updating your 'what I am doing' Status!
6.You converse with other people more on their "walls" than in person.
7.When someone writes on your wall, and you respond in a matter of seconds.
8.You consider FACEBOOK as part of your activities, hobbies and interests.
9.You check Facebook daily, multiple times a day, or all day.
10.When you have over 300 friends,but you actually know 30 and only talk to 2.
11.You actually checked your Facebook a few times while reading this!

Beep Beep

I think it is hilarious when kids that don't belong to me repeat what they hear.

While driving around town a few months ago...running errands, my sister in law had my three year old nephew in the car with her, when a jerk of a driver cut her off, nearly running her off the road. Her defensive driving skills kicked into fierce mode, she beeped twice and verbally responded to the driver, while stay in control of the car.

Later that evening when my nephew was at home with his father, the windows to the living room were open and two cars beeped at each other, my nephew instantly repeated what he had heard earlier that day "BEEP BEEP A$$hole". My brother was shocked to hear his son swear and asked his son...what did you say?? His response was the same.....beep, beep a$$hole.

My brother explained to his little guy that swearing was unacceptable and when he heard a car beep he should say, "beep, beep, Nice Guy".

To date it is a hit or miss on whether my nephew remembers to use the polite response or crass response when he hears cars beep.

Note to self.....watch what you say around kids, they repeat everything!!

Go ask your father

Son asks: Mom what is a Hoe?
Mom answers: A what?? (stunned and at a loss for words)
Son: You know a hoe?
Mom(trying not to laugh)l: I'm not sure; where did you hear that word?
Son: In a music video..."she ain't notin, but a hoe"
Mom: I think you should go ask your father, maybe he knows...
Son asks dad: Dad, mom said to come and ask you what a hoe was?
Dad (creates diversion): hey son let's play catch

Lucky Number 7

My son is not your average 7year old. If there was ever a prize for a ridiculously funny kid, I am confident he would win! He has an extremely charming personality, witty sense of humor, unbeatable streak of luck and these big brown eyes with amazing lashes, that when he blinks just scream "love me".

Before school let out, our Lucky Lad tripled his money. He asked his father for three dollars, wanting to buy Smencils (yummy smelling pencils) for a dollar each. The next morning he went off to school happy as a clam, with his three dollars. When he got home from school that day, I asked if he had bought the Smencils, with bright eyes and a grin on his face, his one word response was YES! I asked to see them. Now with a sheepish look on his face, he softly said "I don't have them". I asked back "what happened to them"?

Well mom, once I hear (Well Mom), I know I am in for a story..... A fourth grader and fifth grader really wanted a pencil and they sold out, so I sold one of my pencils to a fifth grader for $7dollars and one to a fourth grader for $2 dollars, the third pencil I gave to my girlfriend. Stunned and not sure what to ask about first, the money or the fact that he just said he had a girlfriend...I collected my thoughts and asked to see the money, he opened up his wallet and sure enough he had tripled his money. I told him it was wrong to overcharge for pencils, he said they are the ones who offered me the money. Not knowing what else to say and just about ready to bust a gut in laughter, I turned away and said "wait until your dad hears about this".

Later that evening Prince Charming (my hubby) and pals were sitting in our garage watching baseball, I told them our son was a hustler and explained his recent escapade and how he tripled his money...here is their sarcastic response "should we be mad at him"??? I went on to ask if we should have him return the money...before I could finish my sentence these grown Men shouted "NO"! The case was made that my son is not only younger in age, but smaller in size then both of the boys he resold the pencils to. I still contemplate that we should have had him return the money???